I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
