If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize