thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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