I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize