So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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