I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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