Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
