if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
