would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
