wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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