I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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