Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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