We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
