just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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