You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
