Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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