I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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