i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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