he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
