I didn't shave. On purpose
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
