i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I could make wine with my vomit
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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