i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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