We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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