I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
