I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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