i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
