u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
