I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
