This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize