just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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