He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
