# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
