i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
