Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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