literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
false alarm, still single
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
