I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
