i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
