Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
