Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
