Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
