My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
