I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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