I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
