we have officially lost it.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize