You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just google imaged poop.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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