I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
