so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
