Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
