THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
