I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
