You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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