areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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