I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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