someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
