I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
