i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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