I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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