im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
True strength comes from lack of pants
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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