Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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