guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
