its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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