Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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