They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
