So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
