I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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