no, he came in my armpit
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
