North Korea, Best Korea!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize