nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
